ni.chol.as

[Saturday, 18th August 2007]

I have come to a coffee shop where I ordered an Americano with an extra shot. “But it already has two shots!” the Barista exclaimed. “I know, but I want three. And a mocha brownie. That one.” I pointed. The barista and the waitress have a collective nervous breakdown over the amount of coffee I’m about to consume. They’re crazy, this is just for starters. Their incredulity is being fuelled by the insane news of a lowlife coffee-ignorant fuckstain who managed to go loopy because she drank 7 double shots of espresso. She probably works for the tea industry, I shouldn’t wonder. I blame her for it being difficult to buy coffee in London, now. I blame the BBC for publishing such a pointless story. Just to make these coffee guys check their insurance cover, I’m going to go back and order two more Americanos, just as soon as I’ve finished writing this.

* * *

If you read comic books, get a copy of Fell by Warren Ellis. It’s a fantastically dirty and grimy detective story with more atmosphere than a gas-giant and grittier than the butt cheeks of a recent bike crash victim. If you like 90s Britpop and yearn for the golden days of the Manic Street Preachers, Marion, Elastica and co. then you should also get a copy of Kieron Gillen’s Phonogram. Currently reading through Brian Wood’s DMZ which is about what happens when American descends into its second civil war and fights over control of New York. It’s lovely and brutal and apocalyptic.

* * *

This morning, I received the new Apple keyboard. It’s based on the Macbook one, which means there’s a series of flat, short-travel keys, all separate. It looks very clean and simple as you’d expect and, in my short trial this morning, it types beautifully too. Best of all, it won’t catch and display crumbs as effectively as the old Apple keyboards did. I should photograph that grimy old thing, it’s shocking, it really is.

* * *

Bad news all round in terms of places I like to eat and drink in London. Suburb, a handy little cafe in Covent Garden has closed down and is in the process of being turned into some kind of eyebrow surgery parlour, as best I can make out. I prefer coffee to that kind of weirdness. Worse news still is word that the New Piccadilly, the best greasy spoon in all of London, is shutting its doors in September. Redevelopment of Denman Street has been on the cards for years and it’s really only ever been a matter of time. Finally to have the date is depressing, though. Where can I go for a double sausage egg and chips on a weekend now?